Halloween Costume

ALL HALLOW'S EVE.

The following is an actual conversation that took place between myself and my mother, via text.

Mom: are you dressing up for halloween

Me: yeah, jenny is going as a flamingo and casey is a peacock

Mom: u guys are so cute. what are you?

Me: i put on a fake mustache

Mom: is that it?

Me: yes.

Mom: r u joking

In my defense, I was really going as Art School Hitler, but thought my mom would be less than thrilled.

New York, New York (why do I live here again?)

My mom has informed me that, if I lived in my hometown, my current salary would qualify me to buy a house.

Well the joke's on her, because if I did live in my hometown at my current salary, I'd just live in her house and blow all of my disposable income on mid-century furniture and novelty cameras so there.

Me vs. the Electric Typewriter

ROUND ONE typewriter: 1, humanity: 0

ROUND TWO man beats machine because we have the ability to learn.

Book Portrait: Currently Reading

P1120020, originally uploaded by e.g.kaufer.

Portrait of Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

Shot Caller

Before starting my current job, I had a very limited view of what it means to be a lawyer (sources: The New Yorker Book of Lawyer Cartoons). In any case, it seemed like something completely out of my abilities and therefore inaccessible as a career.

Now, it seems to me that being a lawyer basically means a.) dressing well, and b.) making yourself out to be worth more than you actually are, and I'll be damned if my liberal arts degree didn't teach me to at least do that.

College

The snowman outside my house is holding a Keystone.

Emma and Homer

Today, in my Jane Austen lit class, I compared Emma Woodhouse to Homer Simpson. They are both terrible people, but oddly lovable because they are just so earnestly, accidentally terrible.

EMMA: Won't one of you gents marry Harriet? I will throw in a barouche.

I don't think my professor wrote-her-dissertation-on-George-Eliot ladypants appreciated it much.